So yeah.

Ooopsy daisy, someone is mad at me...

No, it's not the friend from yesterday's blog. Hell, she hasn't even realized yet that I deleted her from my friend list in order to post a link.

So, I have this problem where I attract only the most undatable guys on the face of the planet. What's that, did you just ask me about my last date? Okay, I'll tell you.

It was on V-day. I had been whining all week about how I was going to sit at home and drink by myself that night. This guy at work walks by and says he'll take me out. I kinda took it in jest considering he's got 20 years on me and, as far as old guys go, he's kinda creepy. Not stalker creepy, but weird creepy.

So yeah. Moving on.

As the week went on, he kept asking me about Saturday night. I agreed to go, thinking he was trying to be nice to me and I should just accept it. That Friday, he drunk dialed me twice. The first time was at 1:30 in the afternoon, and the second was shortly after five.

Yeah. Awesome.

I picked him up Saturday night. He was dressed up, had a new haircut, and was holding a bouquet of daisies. Not so bad, right?

We were less than a block away from his apartment when he said something to the effect of "We'll go out as friends and see what happens from there."

Uhhh... I thought it was supposed to be a pity date?

We went to a chicken place. He had mentioned something about a much fancier restaurant, but I'll be honest with you. I didn't want to be seen out in public with him at a place like that. And if you met the guy, you'd understand.

Throughout dinner, he touched on quite a few not-really-appropriate topics. He discussed his dentures, his dad farting and stinking up the car (that was a recent story, not a childhood memory), and how he tears up at sad movies. And his sister makes fun of him.

Yeah, I would too. Just sayin.

He wanted to go have a few drinks, but I wasn't exactly having that. I thanked him for the dinner and took him home while he asked me more than once to show him where I lived.

Uh, no. The last thing I need is his drunk ass on my doorstep at 1:30 in the morning...

He tried to talk to me like we were best friends at work on Monday. I swear, I thought it was a pity date! If I had thought it was more than that, I would have stuck to my original plan... drinking at home by myself. I started pretty much ignoring him at work when he started drunk dialing me every weekend.

And that was my last date.

Now you understand my hopelessness...

I attract drunk guys, old guys, and drunk old guys with herpes. Ewww.


There's another guy at work who expressed a little interest in me. Sent me "romantic" messages over facebook, texted me about joining him at the bar a couple of times. The problem with this guy? He's kinda repulsive. I'm talking disgusting teeth, huge mole on the back of his head, and moodier than me to complete the package.

He's a nice guy and all, but I have to be able to look at the person I'm seeing with the lights on, ya know? I wouldn't say I've been bitchy to him, but I've definitely been standoffish. I don't want to encourage him when I know that I'm not gonna go there. So tonight I get a message from him that says "Yeah. I quit."

I didn't know he had even started...

When did guys become so fucking lazy? I mean, seriously. If you like a girl, ask her out. If she says no, fine. Your poor little ego will recover from a rejection. There's another guy at work who goes around saying that I never gave him a chance when he's had my number just as long as I've had his, and he's never even sent me a fucking message. I'm sorry, but I'm tired of being the one to put forth all the effort. I've done it a hundred times before, and it all ends the same. If a guy doesn't have the balls to show he's interested in me, he doesn't have the balls to end it respectfully when he decides that things aren't working out. Is it really that much to ask to see some fucking initiative?

Bottom line is, don't call me a bitch when you didn't even try to take me out on a respectable date. And no, inviting me to a bar because you don't have anyone else to talk to does not count as asking me out on a date. If you're interested, let me know. If I'm not interested, I promise that I won't be a dick about it. I'll turn you down gently and even let you know why if you ask me. But seriously? I'm female. I'm supposed to be courted. Don't make me court you, because it's not gonna happen. I want a gentleman, not a lazy bastard who's willing to settle for whichever bitch happens to be closest.

[/rant]