He came along when I least expected him.
That's how it always works, isn't it?
I had decided that it was best for me to stay single until I got to NC. I didn't want someone else holding me back, and I didn't want to have a reason to even consider staying here. As a matter of fact, just a few days before I met him, I had decided that I needed a dependable fuckbuddy.
But that all went out the window when I met the guy who is everything I've always wanted.
He said he'll go to NC with me.
That's great, I suppose.
Now, he talks about NC more than I do. He already put in an application for a job there even though we've only been together 2 months and we don't have enough money to move. This was my dream, and now it's become his. He chose the town, he's choosing when to go, and I feel like I'm just being dragged along against my will. He's taken my goal and made it his.
I was going to save up money for awhile. I was gonna take a vacation to NC for a week and just drive around until I found a town that felt like home. I was going to pack up all my stuff into a U-Haul trailer and just go. I was going to make it on my own.
He's taking my independence. It's not a bad thing. I can depend on him, and he'll do anything for me. He wants to help me achieve my goal.
But it was mine, and mine alone. I didn't want to share it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
He's Stealing My Dream
Posted by Toni at 1:49 AM
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5 comments:
yikes. see, i have to admire you for recognizing how you feel and being willing (it seems) to compromise. but, i gotta say something...cuz my gut will kick my ass if i don't just put it out there. the thing is, if you feel ANY underlying resentment, maybe you should backtrack, redefine YOUR dream and how you need to achieve it (alone, together, which parts are which,etc). if he is half of what you think him to be...he will TOTALLY get how you feel about it...
there would be nothing wrong with having your first month or six on your own...you need to CHOOSE to share your dream, home, life, etc....
(soapbox removed)
be true to you. it doesn't make you a bitch for needing more than you've been blessed with or needing something to call "your own".
WOW! Whoever Carol is....Is completely RIGHT!!!!!! I agree with her 100% if you feel like this...dont let him steal your dream...
It's all just moving waaaaaaay too fast for me. As he was showing me the town where he put in an application, he was talking about how we should wait until NC to have kids, and then he got into how his mom will want to throw me a baby shower and that we won't fly if I'm pregnant.
WHAT THE HELL?????????
So yeah. Understandably, I'm overwhelmed.
yeah, that's too fast. he might be a cool guy, but maybe you should reevaluate it all, so that you won't hate your goal (which is now his), and then live with resentment because you feel your dream was stolen. you know? maybe he's just trying too hard to be supportive.
hold your own girl.. it will feel great to do it on your own. he will understand your need to land on your own two feet.
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